Lunch Break
by Otterling
Summary: One shot writing exercise about Reno. It's just a fun look at a typical day between two Turks. Being Reno's partner isn't easy. Reno, FFVII, and Rude belong to Squaresoft.


Title: Lunch break.

Reno's hair ruffled slightly as another bullet narrowly missed its mark. "Damn," he grumbled under his breath, "and the day started out so good." Reno shifted a little farther down behind the upturned vender's cart he was currently using as a refuge from the incoming fire. The men across the street from him had gone silent and he could only assume they were reloading. Reno used the temporary reprieve to scout his surroundings. He needed a better place to hide than this. The lull in violence would only last so long and his makeshift cover was quickly deteriorating under the hail of bullets being directed his way. Who knew that getting lunch would be this dangerous? The day had started out well enough. Reno had actually managed to get out of bed and arrive at the office only a few minutes late; he had discovered long ago that Tseng would decide the impending headache of chewing on him wouldn't be worth it as long as Reno was only tardy by fifteen minutes or less. Considering his normal record, that was quite the improvement. Having avoided the usual early morning grouch-fest with his boss had put Reno in a pretty good mood and for the rest of the morning he had managed to avoid the straight-laced man as much as possible. Tseng was a good guy but he was always harping on Reno about something so a morning spent avoiding him was worth the effort.

Rude had finally tracked him down around ten that morning to report that there was nothing to report. Tseng had no current assignments for them. That meant a lazy day spent just hanging around the office. Of course, Reno was _supposed_ to be making some sort of headway through the mountain of backlogged paperwork which was threatening to consume his whole desk, but honestly, Tseng wouldn't expect him to do it and Reno just couldn't bring himself to disappoint the man. He'd flipped through a nice collection of dirty magazines which he pilfered from the confiscation box in the security office on the first floor. Some poor soldier had made the mistake of showing off some of his 'collection' to his buddies and it had gotten swiped by management. That meant it was easy enough to get to for Reno. After several hours of deep contemplation on how the centerfold of issue 437 could contort that way and still have a spine, Reno decided it was officially time for lunch. He'd burst into Rude's office and all but dragged his partner out of the building. Really, Rude needed to get out more. Eventually, the taller dark skinned man had relented and agreed that an early lunch wouldn't kill him or bring about the downfall of the company and so the two had set out to enjoy a quiet meal.

Mayhem had definitely _not_ been on the menu. Rude had insisted upon going to this tiny café down on Market street which served delicate little finger sandwiches. Apparently he had a taste for the fishpaste ones and Reno had decided not to press the issue after his last comment on the utter 'gayness' of fingerfoods had earned him a warning glare. The redhead was not about to go eat at some fancy little café though and so he had set off toward a small non-descript cart whose enticing smell promised the coronary inducing fare which Reno was more accustomed to. Rude had informed him in no uncertain terms that he was considered a freak of nature for being able to eat that stuff and stay so thin and that it was an act of Holy itself that he hadn't yet died of a heart attack. Reno could live with being a freak. He'd been called worse after all. The two had agreed to meet back at the café as the cart had no seating.

The vending cart had been a goldmine of grease and fat, setting Reno's stomach to growling even harder when he'd gotten up close. That was when things went south. The man standing in front of Reno had been a large nervous looking type who was having all sorts of troubles deciding what he wanted to get. He'd been rattling off orders from a long list and Reno, not very patient on his best days, had quickly become irritated. Some sharp words were exchanged and the man said some pretty ugly things about Shinra and its employees. Reno had retorted with a comment about the guy's mother, a dog, and some fairly nasty venereal diseases.

That's when the gun fire started.

The man really shouldn't have had access to that kind of fire power and really, how was Reno supposed to know the guy was a momma's boy? Ok, so maybe he knew that the comment wouldn't be taken well, but he certainly didn't expect for the guy he'd just insulted to be the head of an underground anti-Shinra organization that the Turks had been chasing for weeks. He hadn't expected that the guy was ordering lunch for the fifteen fellow members hidden across the street and he couldn't have been expected to know that they were armed to the teeth. Of course _now_ he wasn't really expecting to get out of this alive. Reno thumbed open the mic on his headset and called out to Rude, taking advantage of the silence to hopefully gain a little back up. Rude's deep voice came over the line loud and clear, "Tell me you're not going to be late. We don't have much time before we're due back." Reno peered around the edge of the cart as he spoke, trying to locate the leader's ugly bald head again.

"Uh…late doesn't really cut it. I'm gonna be monumentally late if you don't get over here soon. I need some backup, partner. You know that group we've been hunting for? The ones that kill soldiers for fun?" The nervous tone in Reno's voice was unmistakable, as was the long suffering and familiar sigh of Rude as realization sank in. "Please," Rude mumbled into the phone, "please tell me you didn't just grab the ass of their leader's girlfriend or something." Reno grinned in spite of himself and chuckled into the line, "No, but I _did_ just insult his mother." Reno could almost hear Rude's fingers coming up to the bridge of his nose as he tried to remind himself why it would be worth it to still come to his partner's rescue. In the end, Reno wasn't too worried about it, he knew that Rude would come for him regardless; they were partners and that was the sort of thing that transcended blood, time and migraine headaches. Rude sighed again as if he was afraid of the answer he was about to get, "How many of them are there?"

"Uh….fifteen?" Reno winced.

"FIFTEEN??!" Rude shouted back at him.

"Yeah. C'mon, man. We can take these guys. Of course…they're really well armed so it'd help if you picked up some firepower along the way." The tone of his voice said this was just another inconvenient day at the office, like spilling tea on your freshly laundered shirt. Reno rolled back behind his cover and frowned at his EMR. It was a fun weapon normally but it wasn't much use when faced with a crapton of semi-automatic high powered rifles. Rude was good at improvising though and Reno knew he could count on his partner to think of something which would even out the fight.

"Reno, I swear…" The rest of what ever Rude was going to say was lost in the sudden metallic ping of bullets on metal as the gunfire began anew. Reno flinched and curled up tighter behind his quickly dwindling shelter, calling over his radio though he wasn't sure if Rude could even still hear him. "HEY, MAN. TIME IS AN ISSUE HERE!" he shouted into the headset before thumbing it back off. Rude would get the point. Another bullet punched through the cart and zipped past uncomfortably close to Reno's nose. He gritted his teeth and growled under his breath. "Shit man, can't we talk about this?" Reno called out to his assailants. The gunfire stopped for a few minutes and a deep voice boomed back at him. "Shinra scum! I'll teach you to insult my mother! I'm gonna use your skin like a coat!" the leader shouted back at him.

Reno knew he shouldn't say it, he knew it wouldn't help anything and yet, before he could stop himself, the words were already out of his mouth. "It's your friggin' mom! You'd think she'd be _used_ to being insulted by now!" _Damn, way to go Reno……_ As the leader quickly gave in to a bout of turrets like cursing followed by more lead than should be humanly possible being thrown in Reno's direction, the red haired Turk had to admit that one of these days, his complete inability to keep his mouth shut was going to get him killed. _Great, I'm going to die on my lunch break…. _ Reno thought wryly. The day was not a complete waste though as Reno glanced down to realize that at least he was on the side of the cart that gave him access to the food inside. He grinned and reached into the open warmer, pulling out a hotdog before rifling around for a bun and some condiments. Bullets continued to ping off the underside of the overturned cart but Reno decided that if he could just find some sour cabbage in this thing, his day might not be a total loss after all.

"Bingo," Reno beamed triumphantly as he held aloft a jar of warm cabbage. He piled the sticky substance onto his hotdog and then poured a healthy amount of ketchup and mustard on top. As he brought the hotdog to his lips, a massive boom resounded from the other side of the cart. Debris rained down all around Reno and he moved quickly to shelter his lunch from the dirt and falling stone. The sound of Rude's voice sounded out down the street bringing a sigh of relief from Reno. "Put your weapons down or you will be killed," Rude called out. Curious as to what in the world Rude had managed to get a hold of that would warrant that sort of confidence against fifteen men, Reno leaned around the edge of the cart just enough to see the street a few yards away. There, standing tall and straight, was Rude, his suit impeccable as always and a very large RPG cradled in his arms. Of course….the weapons shop around the corner. Rude was a regular customer there and often the guys who ran the shop would get some not quite street legal grade weapons in that they would hold just for the dark skinned Turk. They must have just gotten the RPG in recently and Reno couldn't think of anyone else they'd give it to but Rude.

Reno grinned and turned back to his lunch. His partner had the scene well in hand. The sound of guns clattering to the ground in the alley across the street told Reno that the group members had decided today was a bad day to get blown to hell and back. Rude's footsteps came within a few feet of the cart and Reno popped his head back up, risking a look to make sure that all was clear before he gave up his shelter for good. Rude was standing with his back to the cart, the RPG leveled at the small gathering of rebels whose hands were held high in the air. Rude was radioing for a contingent of soldiers to come gather up the criminals. Reno stepped around the cart and finally took a large bite out of his hotdog, reveling in the mixture of sour and mustard. Rude glanced over his shoulder at the approaching sound of Reno's footsteps, doing a double take as he saw his partner standing there, hotdog in hand, with mustard and ketchup smeared around the corners of his mouth. A low disgusted sigh escaped Rude's lips and he shook his head, wondering not for the first time what he had done to deserve this. Reno offered him a smirk and held up the hotdog proudly, "Wanna bite, yo?" Rude stared at him for a long moment before finally answering.

"I think I hate you…."


End file.
